I really have nothing to say here anymore. If you want to find me, I'm here: twitter.com/whimsyharbinger  and here: http://whimsyharbinger.tumblr.com/.

Chi la fa l'aspetti

Subterfuge
Apathetic
Deceitful
Manipulator
Self-Centered
Ruse

These words correctly describe the man that you have become. This is not slander, but a substance of truth. In reality, it matters not.

You have stated in a dream fiction sequence that I blame you for all my problems. This is actually not completely accurate. I blame you for your lies. I blame you for ruining my honor. I blame you for breaking your daughter’s heart. I blame you for never saying, “I’m sorry.” I blame you for not letting me leave 10 years ago.

My anger is my own. I take ownership of it. You can’t take it away. It’s a tool that I use to move forward and look towards a new and exciting future. I am not perfect nor am I a saint. I’m just a person with needs just like everyone else.

You mean nothing to me except that legally you are the father of my child. For this, I will be civil to you but nothing more. The time will come that she will know you for who you really are. I will be there to pick up the pieces when you break her heart again. I will always be there for her in a way that you are not.

At this point, there’s nothing further to say. It’s all been said or not said. So, this is it. This is the end.


Finis

Sunday Morning

You have to love Sunday mornings. It's the unique mix of quietness and the obscure. Taking the bus downtown is always an adventure but today has been a treat. First, a drunken hobo asks me when the next bus is scheduled to arrive. I told him it's down the block. Then, he gets in my face saying I just want to see your eyes. Let me look at your eyes! I quickly walked away. He got on the next bus and I took a sigh of relief. Not one second later, I smell the distinct odor of marijuana. I turn to my left and there is a gray hoodie wearing guy with a clear umbrella smoking a joint. I walked towards the street and luckily my bus pulled up to whisk me away to my next adventure.

Friday

It's Friday night and that means different things to different people. To me, it's a time to unwind and relax. Moreover, it's a time that I can devote to myself. So, tonight that means drinking whiskey sours (damn, I forgot the maraschino cherries) and watching Due Date and Winter's Bone. I'll bid you adieu.

Bon Soir

What up?

I wrote a poem. It's saved on my desktop. Hope you have a nice day.

Top or Bottom

Found

I went on a flight in September and just found my notepad with hilarious tweets I forgot to post. It's just easier to blog this whole note. So, enjoy the pressurized cabin observations.
Tweets
9/12/09 airplane flight from Seattle to Lihue.

17:00 The guy next to me has extremely long toenails and should
probably invest in some toenail clippers.

17:19. The guy behind me is asleep and snot is running down his nose.
Not Aqualung, though close.

20:05 toenail guy and snot guy are friends.

20:06 third and final beverage service includes a free Mai Tai. I'm sure it's more Mai and less Tai.

20:37 older lady with perm, fanny pack, Birkenstocks and a pink
corduroy double breasted jacket.

20:43 older lady's traveling companion has Texas sized side burns and
orange ear plugs.

21:13 had to wait for the restroom with a changing table. It smelled of vomit. Somebody partook in too much alcohol.

21:14 somebody reeks of b.o.

Hidden Gem

Surprise treat during the warm summer afternoon

The sky reflected in the water.

We be jammin'

Lonely Piano Seeking Musician

Who Needs Hemingway When You Have Holy Cannoli

If I stare at the blank screen long enough, a story should write itself. It doesn’t. Little girl on my lap; she kicks the computer. Scrunching her little toes on top of the laptop and pushing with all her might. She wants to be the center of attention and when she is not, all hell breaks loose. Very similar to an overly endowed women wearing a too tight tube top. One wrong move and the whole enchilada pops out for all the world to see. So, it is difficult to write a story. As soon as an idea forms in my head, I want to jot down the skeleton of the story. Sometimes access to a computer is not available. Other times, I start the story and have to stop to attend to little girl’s needs. By the time I return to the story, it’s not what I want to say and I hit the delete button to remove all traces of the story.

Read the rest of the story on shortstoryathon.

The Golden Ganesh, Episode 16

Download:
http://www.divshare.com/download/7644576-a26

Cast:
Ricardo Lori (Detective)
Lauren (Dee von Zelle)
John B. (Detective Bob Toricello)
Jeannie-Girl (Lynn)
K9 (Felicity & Homeless Woman)
Foam (Diane)
Holy Cannoli (Jenny)
Rayke (Franklin & Sgt. MacBrian)
SJ (Criminologist/Futon Cop)
Boneman (Judge Ewing, the Mounted Cop & Smythe’s Answering Machine)
Crushed by Ingsoc (Lt. Fisher and the Angry Driver)
Pjazzypar (the Captain, the Caterer, the Hostess, Felicity’s old Professor, & FBI Agent) Malcolm (Essex County Deputy)
Pamela Ringgold (Machine Dialer & Rude Cop)
Yinyang (FBI Demolitions Expert & Lynn’s Old Friend)
Foam Jr. (the Music Student)
Mr. Foam (Homeless Man 2)
X. Dell (Mr. Johnson & Homeless Man 1).

Special guest stars: Ravi Khanna as Indra, Paul Weaver as Mountie Smythe, and Amy Insley as Col. Smith.

Written and produced by X-Dell.

Directed by Committee.

Dedications and Special Thanks to Monique Caddy, David Caddy, and the rest of our friends at Middle Ditch.

Music by Da Palm & Nurykabe

Additional sound effects by c97059890 of the Free Sound Project (www.freesound.org)

Graphic by K9/She & X. Dell


The Golden Ganesh by X. Dell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.

The Golden Ganesh, Episode 15

Download:
http://www.divshare.com/download/7744197-7eb

Cast:
Ricardo (The Detective)
Amy Insley (Col. Michelle Smith/Sacred Mother)
JohnB (Detective Bob Toricello)
Foam (Diane)
Boneman (Judge Ewing)
Yinyang (FBI Agent/Demolitions Expert/”All Clear”)
X. Dell (Mr. Johnson)
Holy Cannoli (Jenny)
Pinetop Swamp (Announcer)

Music by Melophon & Da Palm

Additional sound effects by www.soundjay.com, and by batchku, addbicycle, Koops, Jhalkompwdr, lgarret, ngtv27, Freqman, freesound, scarbelly 25, Runey, acclivity, sagetyrtle, and Shades of the Free Sound Project (www.freesound.org)

Graphic by K9/She & X. Dell


The Golden Ganesh by X. Dell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License

The Losing Hand

The Observer notes the blond, stifling hot sand that was beneath his combat-boot laden feet. Arizona was the last place he imagined he would camp, but after many pints of whiskey and too few winning poker hands, he had no choice. During that friendly poker game, he went all in and his best friend just laughed and said, "That measly ante wasn't enough." The observer countered with “the loser will spend one night in the Arizona desert, the Gila Desert to be exact.” The observer slapped his cards down saying, " I have a pair of Kings." His friend just smiled and placed three aces down on the well-used card table. The Observer admitted defeat with a growl and a whiskey chaser.

Read the rest of the story on shortstoryathon.

Hottest day ever in Seattle 29 July, 2009

The Golden Ganesh, Episode 14

Download:
http://www.divshare.com/download/7744195-f64

Cast:
Ricardo (The Detective)
Lauren (Dee von Zelle)
JeannieGrrrl (Lynn/Wendy)
K9 (Felicity/Eileen)
Pamela Ringgold (Rude Cop)
SJ (Criminologist/Futon Cop)
Malcolm (Deputy Sheriff)
Pjazzypar (FBI Special Agent)
Pinetop Swamp (Announcer)

Music by Da Palm

Additional sound effects by www.soundjay.com, and by Han 1, NGTV 27, Herbert Boland, Freq Man, Anton, Splutta and LG of the Free Sound Project (www.freesound.org).

Graphic by K9/She & X. Dell


The Golden Ganesh by X. Dell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.

The Golden Gansesh, Episode 13

Download:
http://www.divshare.com/download/7643128-430

Cast:
Ricardo (The Detective)
Lauren (Dee von Zelle)
Rayke (Franklin)
JeannieGrrrl (Lynn)
K9 (Felicity)
Crushed by Ingsoc (Irate Driver)
Pinetop Swamp (Announcer)

Music by Fireproof Babies, mInImAl ArT, Johnny SockHead & Da Palm

Additional sound effects by www.soundjay.com, and by hopflog, Runey, ReWired, lilliangorini, jackstrebor, dobroide, audible_edge, Franaudio, smidoid, Leady, Corsica S., and Freqman of the Free Sound Project (www.freesound.org).

Graphic by K9/She & X. Dell


The Golden Ganesh by X. Dell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.

The Golden Ganesh, Episode 12

Download:
http://www.divshare.com/download/7629443-24e

Cast:
Ricardo (The Detective)
Rayke (Sgt. MacBrian)
Foam (Diane)
JohnB (Detective Bob Toricello)
Paul Weaver (Mountie Smythe)
Foam Jr. (Music Student)
Pinetop Swamp (Announcer)

Music by Pitx & Da Palm

Additional sound effects by spluta, Malonso, and Corsica S. of the Free Sound Project (www.freesound.org)

Graphic by K9/She & X. Dell


The Golden Ganesh by X. Dell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.